Tears Fall Leaving You
by BrokenAngel5683
Summary: Brooke reflects on an unlikely relationship with someone. This is UC. One shot


Author: Mollie  
Title: Tears Fall Leaving You  
Rating: PG-13ish...maybe R  
Disclaimer: I own nothing having to do with One Tree Hill, not that I'd argue if they offered it to me, lol.

Tears.

It always begins with tears. You, on my doorstep in tears. You're broken. And that's why you come. And we both know it. Nothing deeper, nothing more substantial, and nothing less. You're broken and you want me to fix you. And I can do that. I'm good at that. It's maybe the only thing I'm good at.

Tonight's no different. It's a little after midnight and I hear the soft knock from the front door. Even you're knock makes you sound like a shattered man. I already know it's you before I find you on the other side of my door. In tears again. Because nobody understands you either. Nobody tries. They just look at you and see the face value because it's easier than looking underneath, than digging for the truth, than looking for the good. According to everyone but each other we are bad people. But we know the truth about the other, what lies beneath the act, under the surface. We feel like everybody else. We just hide it better.

I pull you inside, out of the coldness and harshness of reality. Now you and I are in our own world. A world where we're safe and unjudged. A world where nothing ahs to be said if we don't want to. We know it already. We understand. There's an unspoken connection. You feel it. I feel it. And silence almost fits us best.

As with all nights I lead you into the underused living room. Or underused since before you showed up. I'm not sure that you've ever seen my room, hidden away in the house, in a dark hollow corner somewhere. I know why we don't venture there. It would be like admitting that these late night visits have ventured further than they should have, to our hearts, hidden in some dark, hollow corner of our souls. We're scared to sue them because they've been abused and broken one too many times.

We sit in silence in the room. Comfortable silence. I know you feel comfortable, I can see it in your eyes, in how your shoulders slack finally. And I've always been comfortable with you. And then your tears come heavier and faster. And I feel at a loss. I hate seeing you in pain, but that's the only time I ever see you, when you're in pain. And it kills me. I reach out to you and pull you into my arms as I do every night you show up, and you cry in my arms, and I stroke your hair and rock you slightly. Still no words, people get too caught up in words. Just a mumbled "Shh" from time to time and feelings. You know I care. You know you're breaking me by acting so lost and miserable. That it makes me feel lost. Because like I said, my heart is hidden and it's forgotten how to do anything but break. As has yours.

And then the kisses start. Your silent apology for breaking me again. And then I kiss you back, to try and help mend your broken heart. We're both just struggling to not be broken. Struggling to fix the other. And making no progress because we're empty, because it doesn't mean anything, because broken is all we know how to be and we're sure to be it again. And be here again. But ironically, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'd rather be broken with you, than broken alone; because I know that okay without you isn't an option.

Fall.

Somewhere along the way you found your way through the labyrinth of my soul, to the dark hollow corner, to my heart. I know that I've found my way to yours. Because tonight as you kiss me, you lift me into your strong arms, and begin carrying me to my room, before realizing you don't know where it is. You pull away from me and give me a questioning look. And I point the path out to you, without a word. In silence. Because we speak to each other through silence.

And tonight I know I really have found my way through the dark, hollow halls of your soul and to your heart because you are deliberately gentle with me. You say, "I love you" without saying a word. And I say it back. And now dark and hollow corners are no longer scary, no longer hidden places, no longer lonely. Because we're in them together. In each other's hearts.

Tonight we fix each other. We complete each other. We feel better. We feel whole. Tonight, we are loved, and we love back. But tonight will break us.

Leaving.

Today, I'm leaving him. And he doesn't know. Because I don't have the strength to tell him. Or to see him. Because then I'll have tot ell him why and we'll speak. And we'll shatter our perfect silence. We'll get lost in words; instead of understand each other's true meanings. Because the truth is found in our silence. In silence we simply understand. We simply know. We simply feel.

And because I know he'll cheapen things by trying to put his feelings, our silence into words. He'd want me to stay. But nothing would be the same after that. It would be loud. Our perfection would be lost.

And if I said no, that I was still leaving, he'd break. He'd be broken and looking for me. And I would comfort him. I would fix him and he would fix me. And I wouldn't be able to leave. So I'm leaving him today, mostly silently, with a letter.

You.

I'm boarding a plane. And I'm almost sure that you're reading the letter. If you can call it that. I wrote nothing, but you're name on the envelope. It's just test results folded up inside. My name's on them. You'll know who's they are. You'll know the truth. But you won't know I'm gone and for that I'm sorry. But I'll never say it. Because silence is the best ending for us. Dissolving into silence.

You check the mail today and find it. The letter. My silent goodbye. Dan Scott scrawled shakily across it. There is no return address, but you don't need one. You know my handwriting. And you wonder why I'm writing you. Because even though I'm safely tucked away in dark hollow corners of yourself, you're not broken right now.

You open the envelope slowly. And then you break. Because you know why I wrote. I didn't have the strength to say it out loud. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't let you down. But you aren't let down. You're happy. You're having a baby. With me. I knew that excites you. Because I complete you. I make you whole. I put you together. And so will this little one. You don't think of the past or any complications, just of happiness, like a naïve child. And I love you for that.

You have to talk to me, you decided. And you waste no time, driving to my immaculate house. The one with Davis on the mailbox out front. And it's then that you get my silent message. It's then that the whole house seems dark and hollow. My car is missing. You know I'm gone.

You walk up to the door anyway, drawn, because you're broken now. And this is where you always come to be whole. And you knock, that shallow, hollow knock of a broken man, tears streaming down your face. And now you don't know what to do, or where to go. Because you're broken and I'm not here to fix you.

You hear a plane and look up into the sky, wondering if this plane is me leaving you. Or maybe the next one. Maybe it'll be the one after that.

But it doesn't matter because you're just as broken as I am, this being all we can ever know, as you sit on my porch, alone, the tears coming fast and my arms not being there to hold you.


End file.
